Gitta Hynt

A while ago I met a boy named Trevor. He asked me out and I went. He didn't talk much but it was a fun date. I just wasn't feeling it for him. I try to be straight-up and when he asked me out again I said, "I just don't think I am interested in that way. I am not looking for commitment and I have some trips planned this summer so I am not really lookin' to date either." He wrote me a message via e-mail and exclaimed, "I hate when people find out you are divorced, they treat you like a fricken lepar." I was like, "Whoa. I said nothing about the divorice. I have dated divorced people before..." He said, "Well of course I meant for us to only go out as friends anyway..." Whatever but okay.

So we went out again. It was apparently "more than friends" for him. I had to go home early that evening and plan a lesson for the next day. That worked out nicely, otherwise we would have had a movie marathon. (Watching movie after movie after movie - for me, one is enough.) However, even though I am the one who had to be home - he lived in the middle of my house and the other girl's house who we were doubling with. (He lives in the middle of town, she lives on the south side, and I live on the North side.) Well I said I have to go home and plan a lesson. So even though she coulda stayed all night long he drives her all the way home. The we backtrack and go clear to the other end of the valley. I was like, "Really!? Really!? After I said I am the one that needed to get home you take me home last?"

He kept asking me out but I kept saying no. I left and came back from a trip and the asking continued. I kept saying, "No. I don't think that will work." I broke my leg on a humanitarian trip and he found out and sent me flowers. That was cute but my sister said I was not obligated to go out with him again because I already told him how I feel.

So I don't hear from him for a couple of months and I thought that he had gotten the hint and moved on. Well out of the blue I got a message that says, "I'm sorry if you thought I dropped off the face of the Earth. The last couple months I have been working alot trying to pay off bills but now I have money to date again, so... you wanna go out!?"

He wanted to go to an event center when you can do all sorts of virtual activities like repel and jump from a plan and really feel like you are. I was like, "okay, okay." (Bad on my part, but I was just like, I want to do that and if he is willing to pay knowing all I want is to be friends... then whatever. Not good. But I did it.) I ended up going earlier with some friends anyways so I told him I would just meet him there. After the two hours we were there I started walking out. He said, "So do you need a ride home?" I said, "No I met my friends here so my car is right outside." And he said, "I don't mind giving you a ride home...." And I was like, (Are you kidding? Listen to me.) PRONUNCIATE... "No! It's okay. My car really is just right outside." He leaned in to give me a hug and I kinda just sat there arms folded so he moves from a awkward hug position to just patting me on the back. I am like, "Thanks. See ya!"

Okay since this little incident above I watched the movie Hitch (and I fully believe if you want to know the truth about dating - you should watch Hitch). In the movie Alex Hitchins (Will Smith) says, "Listen to what the girl is saying. When you ask her a question... listen. Don't look at her lips or at her chest, listen so you know how to respond." Example #1 is asking if someone needs a ride home. If they tell you their car is right outside - listen. It really made me feel like he was not even listening and there is nothing worse than that!

The next week he asked me to be boyfriend and girlfriend with him. I felt bad like, "Oh no! I led him on!" So I apologized and explained how I still felt the same way I did after our first date and that I was not interested. I said, "I am sorry if I mislead you." He said, "You didn't." (I told him straight-up how I felt after date #1, No hugs, No flirting.) I wondered why do guys, when they are picking up hints, take them as signs to try harder? If someone tells you something flat out - believe her! If you drop off the face of the Earth for two months and she makes no attempt to contact you - move on. If she says something, REALLY LISTEN! And if not even a smidgen of a hug is involved... Gitta Hynt!