Part 1 - Bowling & Farts

My friends husband has decided that it is his calling in life to find me my husband. He is always bound and determine to set me up with one or another of his friends... So this time he set me up with a boy from England. A chocolate boy. Mmmmm. Love them.

A few days before the date he kept telling me: "Where he is from, they like to kiss on the first date... So be prepared to kiss him..." I was like, "Ahhh! No!" (I am not an easy kisser.) But he kept bringing it up over and over again.

They came to get me and David came to the door. We went bowling and out for ice cream. David got very touchy feely during bowling and decided that we needed to be really close. It was awkward for me as I had just met him. It takes me a while to feel comfortable with people, like I want to know them before anything happens. He was pretty confident and apparently feels pretty comfortable right off the bat... good for him - not for me.

On the way to bowling there was a farting noise coming from the backseat where David and I were sitting. My friends husband said, "Doree!" I was like, "It was not me!" The farting persisted every now and then in a nice rhythm and even my friend joined in claiming it was coming from me and it had to be me because that's the direction of the sound. Ugh. Good friend. It continued after bowling on our way to ice cream and then again from ice cream to my house. The seat was rigged. David was looking at me like, "huh?" They were making a big commotion and I was making a big commotion of denial and the sounds every so often persisted.

Finally when we reached my house I jumped out and started looking around my seat. James, my friends husband, had put an electronic whoopi cushion sounder thing under my seat! So he just had to push a button from the driver's seat and it would sound like it was coming from me. LAME!!!!!!

David walked me to the door and I hurried inside. Who does that on a first date?

BLAH!!!!!!!!!